


Sketchbooks are private (but your drawings made me fall in love with you)

by JauntyHako



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Another one with Lucifer angst, M/M, Michael is a bit of an asshole, Sam is a Sweetheart, Trans Lucifer, abusive family mentioned, are you really surprised at this point?, but he tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-11 00:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3309191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JauntyHako/pseuds/JauntyHako
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam finds a lost sketchbook and wants to return it, which is of course the only working recipe for finding true love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, more Lucifer angst. I'm on a roll guys. For real though, I wanted to write something about trans Lucifer for ages and I also wanted to do artist!Lucifer so now you get both. As with all my stuff this also has a happy ending, since I'm way too much of a weak-hearted coward to break my own heart by writing sad endings to my fic.

Sam's favourite park bench had been destroyed.

The perfect spot he usually picked to study or just bask in the sun had been vandalised by teenagers.

He looked at the carnage, splintered wood strewn about, and wondered if he shouldn't just return home and study there. It wasn't like he _had_ to look at the lake glittering in the sun or watching the ducks swim lazy rounds while he tried to memorise a 2000 page book. Or that it was the first warm day after two weeks of rain and every other space was already filled with families and old people feeding pigeons.

Sam squared his shoulders and set off to find a new spot. He would be damned if he stayed inside on a day like this.

 

This bench wasn't as nice, the shade from the cherry tree made it too cool to sit without his hoodie, and he had no view of the lake. Instead he could watch the passersby and the playground, where this time of the hour a couple of teenagers hung out. Probably the same who had destroyed Sam's bench.

Sam wrinkled his nose and turned.

A sketchbook lay just under the bench, hidden by grass. Someone must have lost it. Sam picked it up, looking to find a name or something to identify the owner. Nothing on the front or the back though gave any clue. He flipped a page open at random, out of curiosity more than constructive effort.

„Wow.“ he said to himself. The drawing made in coal showed the playground just opposite the bench, a bunch of children playing with some adults joining. Most were only outlined, hinted at with shadows and rough lines. One pair stood out proudly, though. A girl, four or five years old, her hands thrown in the air at the top of the slide. A tall young man with black hair held her waist, smiling brightly at her joy. The detail in both their faces made Sam think that this wasn't the first time the anonymous artist had drawn these two.

Indeed as he looked through the pages the two showed up every now and then. Not always in the same combination. One time the girl on the playground was there with another man, this one short and soft around the edges. He played with her in the sand and the drawing showed well how dirty both of them had gotten themselves.

Other pictures didn't include real people at all. There were sketches of angels with their wings burned off, animals trapped in cages and clawing at the bars. One of Sam's favourites had a bird on the lower left corner, feathers fallen out, its head ducked and meek. Right next to it was the same bird, this time surrounded by flame. And over and to its right the same one again, only Sam barely recognised it for the original bird. The phoenix had risen from the ashes and threw itself up in the sky, outlined with smudged clouds pierced by sunlight.

He looked at drawing after drawing, his studies forgotten. The girl and the men with her appeared periodically, mostly around the playground, though once or twice there was a building in the background that Sam had never seen before. These were the least detailed pictures, only rough impressions as if drawn from memory.

He turned to the next page and saw himself.

It was like looking at a photograph. There he sat on his usual bench, hair falling in his eyes and did he always hunch over so badly? It didn't look healthy. Sam looked up and yes, he saw his vandalised bench from where he was sitting, the same angle as in the drawing.

It was both creepy and oddly flattering to find a drawing of himself in a stranger's sketchbook. If nothing else these pictures gave him a clue. The artist would have come to this spot more than once and thus the chances were high that he would turn up again.

Without him noticing half the day had passed already, dusk setting over the park. He'd spent hours looking at the sketchbook, one full day of studying wasted. Sam made a decision and pocketed the sketchbook. He didn't want to leave it here where it could get stolen or wet. Instead he took out some paper and scribbled a short note on it, together with his cell phone number.

 

_You lost your sketchbook. I took it with me because it looked like it might rain._

_Call me here_

_555 - 11262255_

 

 

 

The call came a week later. By now Sam had given up on ever finding the mysterious artist. His note had disappeared a day after he put it there which had given him some measure of hope. But until now no one had come forward. The sketchbook lay safely tucked away in one of his drawers.

 

„Hey, um, my name's Lucifer. I think you have my sketchbook?“

 

Sam sat up from his slouching position and paused the movie he'd been watching. The voice on the other end was husky and deep, sending shivers down Sam's spine.

 

„Hey, yeah. I think so. I found it about a week ago and …“

 

„It has a black cover and the first page has an angel on it.“

 

It had. The angel in question sat at a pond, kissing a black swan on its beak. The swan had only one wing while the angel had two, one black, one white. Sam loved the picture as well as the implications of story behind it.

 

„Yeah. Um, we can meet up I give you your sketchbook back?“

 

They agreed to meet in an hour at the café close to the park. When Sam hung up his heart beat like mad. The guy sounded young, possibly in Sam's age. He would be lying if he said he hadn't fantasised about the artist. It was a bit romantic finding something as personal as a sketchbook and knowing nothing about the person behind it.

He got dressed and did very deliberately not think about how he put on some cologne and picked the pants that made his butt look perky.

 

Sam recognised Lucifer immediately. He stood in front of the café, looking around as if waiting for someone. His fingers were smudged with coal.

„Hey.“ Sam said as he walked up to him. He was taller, which wasn't a new thing, but not by much. The man's blonde hair stuck up at odd ends as if he'd dragged his hands through it and his blue eyes pierced right through Sam. He accepted the sketchbook with a curt 'thanks'.

„Did you look at it?“ he asked after a short pause.

Only now did Sam realise that he probably shouldn't have. This was someone's private property and an expression of things they usually didn't share with strangers. He considered lying but discarded it quickly.

„I'm sorry, I just thought I could figure out who you were so I could return it and then these drawings were so good and I sort of couldn't stop and … 'm really sorry.“

Lucifer's brows furrowed.

„You should be. Thanks a lot for going through my private stuff.“ he said with a snarl. He turned on his heel and walked off, leaving Sam behind. He felt guilty and even more so for still being curious.

He took up chase without thinking, catching up with only a few long strides.

„Who are these people you always draw? The two men with the girl?“

He almost ran into Lucifer as he stopped abruptly. He turned around, stabbing Sam in the chest with his finger.

„Keep your nose out of my business. You've done enough damage. Now leave me alone.“

This time Sam didn't follow.

 

 

 

Sam had an entire internal monologue about googling the guy who very firmly had told him to leave him alone. The contra arguments were irrefutable, he would act like a creepy stalker, having an online presence did not mean inviting every creep to look at your stuff. The pro arguments were decidedly weaker: He wanted to see more of Lucifer's art, and, admittedly, more of Lucifer himself.

He sat in front of his laptop, staring at the screen. His curiosity almost killed him but in the end he decided against looking him up. No meant no and he had an inkling that Lucifer really didn't want anything to do with him.

A few days later his favourite bench got restored and he took up his studying again. He did not look if Lucifer was in the park as well, even though he was tempted. Instead he kept his head low and in his books.

That might be one reason why he didn't notice Lucifer approaching until he cleared his throat. He looked up eyes widening at seeing the guy he thought he had chased away with his behaviour. Lucifer looked as if he was still offended but also uncomfortable in his skin. He shifted from one foot to the other, his sketchbook clutched to his chest.

„I wanted to apologise.“ Lucifer mumbled finally, pulling a face that promised violence should Sam make fun of him.

„Uh, thanks?“ Sam said, dumbfounded. „What for?“

Without asking for permission, Lucifer moved some of Sam's books to the side and sat down next to him.

„I behaved like a dick. You went out of your way to give me my sketchbook back and I shouldn't have spoken to you like I did.“

He sounded as if he practiced that speech. He might even have written it down and memorised it. Sam smiled.

„It's okay. I shouldn't have looked at your stuff without asking for permission.“

Lucifer acknowledged his apology with a nod and for a while that was it. They both stared off into the distance, neither knowing what to say next. Occasionally Sam sneaked glances at Lucifer, his unruly blond hair, the black marks on his hands, from the top of his little finger all the way down to his wrist. Sam wondered what he had been drawing today.

„You said you liked my drawings.“ Lucifer said after a while.

„I do. They're awesome. The one where the two angels are fighting, it looks like they're coming out of the paper any second.“

It was the first time Sam saw Lucifer smile. It was a nice smile, subtle but brightening his whole face.

„Thank you.“

Again they fell into silence. It wasn't awkward, not really. Lucifer was a guy you could be quiet with, who didn't feel the need to fill every second of the day with talking. But Sam was also afraid of Lucifer getting up and leaving again and he wanted to make sure he had a way of keeping in touch with him. If only to cajole him into showing him more of his art.

He had just made up his mind about asking for Lucifer's number, when the men and the girl from the drawings walked past them. Sam stared. They looked exactly like Lucifer had drawn them, down to the last detail. They walked towards the playground as if they'd just escaped their picture, imagined people come to life through coal and an artists imagination.

Sam stared after them and noticed only when they had left his field of vision that Lucifer hid his face behind his sketchbook.

„They're gone.“ Sam said. Lucifer blushed furiously and lowered his sketchbook, smoothing down the paper cover that didn't need smoothing. He didn't offer an explanation for his behaviour.

„Who are they?“ Sam asked gently. Whoever these people were there was obivously a connection there, bad blood perhaps.

„My siblings.“

Sam looked after the three people, even though the playground was out of sight. He had assumed Lucifer didn't know them well since he'd never drawn any close-ups. Only situations easily observed while hiding.

„What happened between you? Do they know you're drawing them?“

Lucifer shook his head. He didn't make eye contact and he moved a bit away from Sam.

„I haven't talked to them in years. My father kicked me out and forbid them from talking to me. I don't think they know I'm here.“

Sam doubted that. You recognised your brother sitting on a bench across the playground day in, day out, didn't you? One of them must have noticed him. But if they had they never acted on it.

„But you miss them?“  
A nod. It didn't take a mindreader to see Lucifer wanted to talk. He fidgeted, opened his mouth and closed it. He had no idea how to begin.

„Tell me about them.“ Sam offered and smiled as Lucifer took the opening. He opened his sketchbook to one of the drawings with all three in it. Sam nudged him to come closer and soon they sat shoulder to shoulder, their thighs brushing.

„That's Michael.“ Lucifer said pointing to the tall black-haired guy. „He's the oldest. Hardass, perfect son. If he was a superhero he'd be Captain America.“

Sam chuckled. Lucifer smiled tentatively and continued.

„He taught me and the others to ride bikes, made us lunch, even read bed-time stories. Dad was never around for any of that, but Michael took care of us. I used to think he was the best big brother in the whole world. He helped me with homework, sewed halloween costumes for Anna, drove Gabriel to his piano lessons. Still does, I think.

It was just us boys for years, Michael and Gabriel and me. That's Gabriel.“ Lucifer added but Sam could have guessed. The smaller and younger one, the one with the mischievous grin on nearly every picture. „Then Anna came, when I was sixteen. She was so small. I don't remember her mother much, Dad got her pregnant and took the baby in but we never saw her again. I think she's moved to California. Same thing with Gabriel's mom. Michael's and mine died when we were young.“ Lucifer cleared his throat. „Anyway. It was nice having Anna around. She was a quiet baby, never cried much. And Michael already worked then, he didn't have much time to care for her. So I did. She couldn't even talk when Dad kicked me out.“

Lucifer paused, his fingers hovering over the likeness of Anna on a swing, Michael pushing her, Gabriel swinging next to her.

„Why'd your Dad kick you out?“ Sam asked. He felt Lucifer tense up next to him and squeezed his hand lightly. Lucifer looked down at his hand, as if startled that someone touched him of their own free will.

„I'm …“ he began but hesitated. Looked at Sam, his hand, back at Sam. „Gay. You have a problem with that?“

Sam raised his free hand in defense.

„Hey, no. No, of course not. It's cool, I'm bi, it's good.“  
„Oh.“

Lucifer's confrontational attitude rubbed Sam the wrong way but the face he made when his aggression fell flat made up for it by being bloody hilarious. He looked as if he had just mentally tripped and tried to figure out how to regain his footing.

„Yeah, oh. It's okay.“

Again silence fell between them, interrupted only when Lucifer huffed and turned around to face Sam.

„Go out with me.“

Sam's startled reaction was to laugh, a move that awarded him a frown from Lucifer.

„Don't laugh at me. If you don't want to, just say so.“  
„No.“ Sam interrupted, still chuckling. „No, I'd love to go out with you. It's just usually people don't _demand_ dates of me.“

Lucifer looked uncomfortable, but caught himself quickly.

„Well, get used to it.“ he snapped and crossed his arms.

 

 

 

Lucifer grew awkward everytime Sam didn't react to his provocations as if he didn't know what to do with himself when _not_ antagonised. It was both tiring and heartbreaking, but Sam came to find that he had the patience of a tree when it came to Lucifer. No matter how much Lucifer tried to get him into an argument, Sam deflected every attempt with humour and sometimes a well-timed hug. Those usually got him to shut up.

Five official dates with dinner, a movie and a good night kiss, and about twelve unofficial ones which consisted of them just spending time with each other, sometimes talking, sometimes enjoying the quiet with each other went by without any of them going further than a kiss and a hug.

It wasn't like Sam was desperate to have sex. True, the sight alone of Lucifer made his mouth water, but he could have lived with waiting. It was the apprehension in the air that worried Sam. After their fourth date Lucifer had begun flinching away from his hugs, barely reciprocating them anymore. Sam stopped initiating them after that, but that only seemed to make it worse. It was as if Lucifer wanted to be touched but then again not. Sam had no idea how to make it better.

Which was why one evening, the two of them sprawled on Sam's bed, watching the credits for Iron Man and waiting for the after credits scene, he turned around and faced Lucifer intending to talk about this.

Lucifer laughed when he saw Sam's face but it was a forced sound.

„You look like you're about to confess a murder.“ Lucifer said. „You're about to break up with me?“

„Do you want me to?“

Lucifer stilled, and Sam didn't miss the short flash of panic on his face.

„Do _you_? You want to end it? Just say it, I can take it. It's because we haven't fucked yet, is it? Well, screw you, I don't want to be together with someone who's just in it for the sex, anyway and-“

„Lucifer, stop.“ Sam implored him, resting his hands on Lucifer's shoulders. „I don't want this to end, that's the last thing I want. But if I'm making you uncomfortable …“  
Lucifer avoided eye contact.

„You're not making me uncomfortable.“ he said but it was more of a question than a statement.

„Then what's with the tension? Look, if this is about the sex, we don't need to have any. I'm perfectly happy with you as it is. So if you'd rather not, then that's okay. I just need to know, because I get the feeling that I'm hurting you somehow.“

There was a moment when Sam thought that Lucifer would get up and leave after all. This kind of heartfelt conversation wasn't really his strong point. But after minutes of strained silence he sagged into Sam's arms and rested his head in the crook of Sam's neck.

„I want to have sex.“ he mumbled, his breath ghosting over Sam's skin. „But …“  
„But?“

„But I don't think you'll want to have sex with me.“

Sam frowned. He pulled Lucifer a bit away so he could look at him.

„What makes you say that? You know I think you're sexy as hell.“

„That's just because you think I look like other men.“ Lucifer blurted out. Sam's confusion must have shown on his face because Lucifer groaned in exasperation. „I'm … I … I'm taking hormones but ... I'm not … I don't have a … you know. I …“  
Sam had a growing suspicion. Lucifer seemed unable to say it, stuttering and clinging to Sam like to a lifeline.

„You're trans?“ Sam ventured carefully.

Lucifer stopped talking. In fact, he stopped breathing as well. He just stared at Sam's chest, hands buried in his shirt.

Then he gave the tiniest, hesitant nod.

 

Sam wanted to cry with relief. He had pictured the worst horror scenarios in his head. Lucifer raped, mutilated, abused. Lucifer afraid of human contact because someone had driven it out of him. His imagination had provided images that brought him nightmares.

„It's okay, Luce. God, it's okay. That doesn't change anything.“  
He went in for a kiss that, for the first time, Lucifer reciprocated with desperate want. They clung to each other, hands wandering across each others bodies.

„You“ Lucifer said between kisses, moaning as Sam rutted up against him. „don't have a problem with this? Really?“  
„Of course not. Luce, you're the hottest guy I ever went out with, and …“ he hesitated for a second. „I think I might be a little bit in love with you.“

Sam didn't think of a love confession as something sexual but from the way Lucifer pushed him to his back and climbed on top of him, he had been wrong. He cupped Lucifer's ass, moved down to his thighs and up again, content to let Lucifer take the lead.

„I've never done this before.“ Lucifer said with both of them half naked. Sam opened his eyes to check if Lucifer was pulling his leg.

„Could have fooled me.“ he answered and got one of Lucifer's sweet smiles for it.

„I know, I'm a natural at everything I do. Just … give me some pointers?“

Sam sat up with Lucifer in his lap. They had shucked their shirts and pants and for the first time Sam saw the binder. Lucifer had slept at his place before. He'd never seen him take it off. He didn't know terribly much about this business but he was fairly certain you weren't supposed to sleep in those. Before Lucifer could mistake his hesitation for a change of mind, he pulled him down for a kiss, their tongues warm and heavy against each other, Lucifer sighing with content.

„Depends on how you want to do this. Is there anywhere you don't want me to go?“

„Don't touch my … my vagina. I think it's okay if I do it myself, but I don't know if I can deal with someone else coming near it. And … I'd like to keep this one. For now?“ Lucifer said, tugging at his binder.

„Fine with me.“ Sam said and lay down again, pulling Lucifer with him.

 

 

 

„How do you feel about strap-ons?“ Sam asked dreamily a bit later, Lucifer spooning him. It was a shame he couldn't see his face but the groan followed by laughter was nice to hear nonetheless.

„You have no shame, do you, Sam Winchester?“  
„Not one ounce.“ Sam said proudly. He turned around a bit to see Lucifer looking at him fondly. Then his grin grew wicked.

„Would the strap-on be for me or for you?“  
Sam laughed despite himself and poked Lucifer with mock indignation.

„I didn't hear you complain half an hour ago.“

Lucifer poked back and their conversation halted in favour of a tickle match. Sam won on account of being bigger and less ticklish.

Lucifer squirmed under him, still giggling and gasping for air. Sam switched their positions as he remembered the binder and that breathlessness might just be a bit harder to battle that way. Now Lucifer lay on top of him, perfectly content with resting his chin on Sam's chest and looking at him from under his eyelashes.

„Strap-on sound good.“ he said. „Under the condition that we go buy one together.“

„Deal.“

Lucifer gave him another peck on the lips and then got up, leaving Sam to stare dumbly after him.

„Relax, just getting something.“

Sam watched Lucifer rummage in his bag and pull out the sketchbook and coal. Realisation dawned on him.

„You want to sketch me? _Now_?“

„I thought you don't have any shame, Winchester.“ Lucifer retorted but the apprehension was there again. He feared he'd gone too far and attempted to brush over his insecurity with false confidence.

„No, it's good. But I don't know if I can keep still long enough with you sitting directly in front of me.“  
„Show some impulse control. No, don't move.“ Lucifer added as Sam attempted to put himself into a more … sketchable position. „You look like one of my french girls.“

Sam snorted but kept still.

 

The finished work remained in Lucifer's sketchbook, one of many reasons Sam always made sure he didn't lose it a second time. Lucifer made fun of him for being so paranoid, but he always smiled when Sam told him that some things were only for him to see.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Sam always tried to get other people's viewpoints. He tried to understand what made people act the way they did. It was the reason he didn't grow tired of Lucifer's passive-aggressive attitude and he believed in compromises. He suspected if he had grown up with a sister only to find out that that sister was, in fact, a brother it would take time to get used to.

He also suspected that four years was more than enough time to do that.

„Michael, if you misgender my boyfriend one more time, we'll leave.“ Sam said after throwing a glance at Lucifer who didn't seem able to speak for himself at the moment. It was family. Sam didn't know if he could stand up to Dean like that if it came to it. Not that it would. Dean was the kind of brother who would accept every revelation with a shrug and a grin. And he liked Lucifer well enough, even acting as a surrogate big brother at times.

 

It would have been enough for both Sam and Lucifer. But one day in the park, Lucifer sketching away at a new family portrait that he wasn't part of, Gabriel had seen him. Lucifer hadn't noticed but Sam had, watching Gabriel pointing at them and talking to Michael.

_They aren't supposed to talk to him_ . Sam thought. He remembered Lucifer telling him about the rule their father had raised just before cutting Lucifer out of his life forever. None of the siblings were ever to say so much as a word to Lucifer.

Five minutes later Michael and Gabriel stood in front of Lucifer, Anna playing with some other kids on the playground. Lucifer sat rooted to the bench and it was only thanks to Sam's quick thinking that neither saw the half finished sketch. Maybe there would come a time where Lucifer could show them. But that was certainly not now.

„Lucinda. It has … been a while.“ Michael greeted stiffly. Lucifer visibly flinched at the mention of his assigned name. Sam took his hand and squeezed, reminding him that he wasn't alone. 

„I go by Lucifer now.“ he said, voice barely above a whisper. He gripped Sam's hand tight enough to hurt.

Michael sighed as if he hadn't expected anything else.

„Of course you do. A normal name just wouldn't do, would it?“

Lucifer shrunk into himself, cheeks red with embarrassment.

„What do you want?“ Sam threw in, succeeding at least in getting the brothers attention away from his boyfriend. „If you're just here to pick fights with him you can leave.“

Michael looked startled by Sam's outbreak as if he wasn't used to people talking back at him. Then his face softened.

„No, I … I apologise. Lucin- Lucifer. I think we need to talk.“  
„About what? My disappointing the entire family? My delusions? What?“

„Father recently passed away.“

 

They ended up in the café where Sam and Lucifer had first met, Michael, Gabriel, Lucifer and Sam sitting around the table, each brother looking like they lined up for the execution block. Michael more so as Sam chastised him for misgendering Lucifer.

„I merely wish to understand what would make you want to be a man.“ Michael said and Sam had to remind himself that he _did_ try, that Michael was making efforts and that he didn't intentionally try to be a transphobic dickbag. It got harder with each word Michael spoke.

„You were such a pretty girl, everyone envied your hair. And now … you are growing stubble. How even …?“

„Hormone replacement therapy.“ Lucifer said, touching the stubble he'd grown over the last few weeks as if to reassure himself it was still there.

„I see. But why? Why go to such lengths to look like a man?“

„Because Lucifer  _ is  _ a man.“ Sam said when Lucifer kept quiet. He had trouble speaking of this with Sam who was supportive and understanding. Maybe it was best he took over for now.

„Look, Michael, I get where you're coming from. Luce was born in the wrong body and raised with the wrong gender in mind. But it doesn't matter how long his hair was or how pretty he looked in dresses, he was always a boy. Just a boy in very convincing disguise. I get that it's not easy to make that mental step from 'sister' to 'brother' but that doesn't change that Lucifer is very much your brother. It has nothing to do with  _ wanting _ to be someone else but  _ being _ someone else.“ Sam paused, looking at Lucifer who gave him a slight nod. „Look at it this way. If someone put you in a dress and called you a girls name, that wouldn't change who you really are, would it? You'd still be a guy but a guy who would supposedly be very uncomfortable in his skin.“

To Michael's left Gabriel made a small sound of understanding. He hadn't said much up until now and didn't seem inclined to start now, but he looked at Lucifer and for the first time Sam didn't see confusion in his expression. 

Michael was harder to read but he looked at Lucifer with something akin to gentleness.

„Is that how you felt all these years? Like we were dressing you up?“

Lucifer stared in disbelief.

„Yes?“ he said and went slackjawed as his brother merely hummed. 

„What, you believe me?“ he added. „Now, after I tried to tell you the exact same thing a million times for  _ years? _ Now you suddenly go 'oh, alright'?“

It was Gabriel who answered in Michael's stead.

„We talked a lot about you since Dad died. We both thought that we should have tried harder to understand what you were going through. But we had no idea where you were or how you were doing. If you hadn't been in that park today, we'd never have found you. That was one crazy coincidence.“

_They really didn't know their brother sat just a couple dozen feet away all this time?_ Sam thought. And then he saw Michael's face. Oh. Gabriel may not have had a clue, the older brother however apparently had.

But he didn't mention anything and Lucifer didn't bring it up. He was still too blown away by the sudden acceptance he faced.

„We … both of us would like to stay in touch.“ Michael said then, leaning forward. „Anna would love to see you again, I'm sure.“

Lucifer nodded numbly.

„Yeah.“ he said. „Yeah, okay.“  


 

They spent Christmas together. Sam, Lucifer, Michael, Gabriel, Anna, Dean and Dean's boyfriend, Castiel. That night in the guest room was the first time Lucifer let Sam see him without his binder. Before he had always undressed in the bathroom, wearing old t-shirts of Sam that hid his breasts. That night he was completely naked and writhed under Sam's touch, Christmas Carols playing on the radio downstairs that everyone had forgotten to shut off. 

Sam would never be able to listen to Silent Night again without getting hard.

 


End file.
